Living with ADHD

When I was in 7th grade, I was diagnosed with ADHD and anxiety. This came to no surprise from the people around me. I can remember being asked to not eat sugar and caffeine because I was already so amped up. I am so thankful for the friends I had and their parents who loved me as their own because to say I bounced off the walls is an understatement.

I was reading someone else's post about her child having ADHD and the difficulty of it and it inspired me to share my story because it may help you understand your child. I think it will also give you hope that ADHD is not going to cause your child to fail. I know that my parents probably at one point or another had no idea what I would become in life because of how spastic I was.

So back to when I was in 7th grade...

I was failing classes and had zero care in the world about school. After getting the diagnosis, my mom tried to medicate me since I was falling behind.

The thing is a lot of the time people with ADHD are very head strong people. This is where I believe the super power side of it comes in. Yes, I believe ADHD can be a superpower and not a disability!

So, I had it in my head that I was not taking the medication. Was not doing it! I'm sure at this point if you have a child with ADHD you can see the correlation.

One morning, near the end of the school year, I spit the medicine out on the kitchen floor in front of my mom. Thats when she lost it. After years of fighting with me and many, many bad evenings of trying to force me to do my homework, I think she was at her breaking point and rightfully so.

What she then yelled at me is something I will never forget, "If you still want to be in 7th grade next year while all of your friends are in 8th, then fine!"

That hit me like a ton of bricks. Why? Because the one thing I cared most about was socializing and my friends.

You see, the thing is that if there is a driving force behind someone with ADHD then I believe them to be unstoppable. And I had just found mine.

I picked my grades up enough to squeeze by, but I meant that was not happening again.

So I went on to 8th grade and was on the honor roll all year. At the end of the year, I was asked to join the honors program in high school. I could not believe this!

But it showed me that hard work and figuring out how to use ADHD to my advantage was also an option and failure was no longer in my vocabulary.

When someone with ADHD finds their driving force or something they are passionate about, they can use all of that energy and mental spark to accomplish things that others may not even understand how they do.

Now, at the age of 26, I have successfully graduated from cosmetology school, successfully opened, ran, and later sold a hair salon, and sucessfully opened another business in the cosmetic industry.

I feel like having owned two businesses that I have already had a lifetime of career experience and I am just getting started!

I have always HATED school, but I love to learn. The thing is, I love to learn on my own terms and when it's something I am interested in.

This is where I think the problem with grade school comes in. It's not on their terms and the 8 hours a day that they are expected to focus and on things they couldn't care less about is almost excruciating for an ADHD child to sit through.

I understand that grade school is a must, but I also understand the pain of watching a clock go by all day to have to do more homework when you get home. This is why now that I am a parent, who understands ADHD I do not believe in homework. Kids needs to have some time during the day to be kids and burn off energy.

Here's my humble opinion that may or may not matter to you: ADHD medication is dished out far too frequently. The problem I have with it is that if you medicate your child, at what point is he/she ever going to overcome the obstacles that comes along with ADHD. At what point is your child going to figure out their driving force? At what point is your child going to find his/her passion?

I am not shaming anyone who turns to medication.

However, as much of a struggle school was for me as a child, as an adult I couldn't be more thankful that I didn't end up medicated because I wouldn't be who I am today!

I don't think I would have the drive, energy for my business, or passion that I have today.

So yes, I consider my ADHD a superpower.

With all of that being said, it didn't come easy. It took a lot of one thing, and that one thing is something that's hard to learn. It's called self-discipline. Because that's what it takes to over come it.

Life was not without struggles ever since 7th grade. I still struggled throughout high school to even care about my grades, but I still had a strong self awareness of my ADHD and was always able to get myself back on track.

After high school is where I excelled because what and when I learned was more on my terms.

Not being able to focus on something that I do not find interesting is an absolute challenge. However, when I am interested in something the focus I have for it is unreal. I begin to obsess over whatever topic that is. I find that this is sometimes challenging for my dear husband because he has to deal with my obsessions, even if it may be something different six months from now. I will forever be grateful that he allows be to dip my hands in all of the things I find myself wanting to do.

This blog for example. It came about at the beginning of the quarantine when I realized I was going to lose every bit of sanity I had with my business being shut down and me not being able to work.

I need a creative outlet. Everything I have done has allowed that side of my brain to work and I think thats what relieves me. So here's where the blog came in.

When I decided starting a blog was what I was going to do with my newfound time I obsessed over it the way I do everything else. I created the blog, designed the layout, started making jewelry, and uploaded them to the site. I also started back doing some makeup videos. See, for me this was all one big way to keep my brain satisfied. I honestly know how crazy it sounds, but those who know, know all too well.

I can sit here and tell you all of this now, but I didn't have an understanding of the things I do until the last year or two. As a child, or even teenager, I wouldn't have been able to tell you all of this about myself because I didn't yet understand it. And chance are, neither does your child. Even though I discovered the self discipline side of it in the 7th grade, I still didn't understand my own patterns.

Now as an adult, I am able to recognize some of my behaviors and even though I am not necessarily able to prevent them or stop them while they're happening. I am, however, able to implement certain things I've learned has helped me not become bombarded by those behaviors.

For example, when I decide to start something new I almost can't even find a starting point because of the amount of ideas I have running through my brain all at once. This could be something as simple as starting this blog or planning a skincare party, all the way to something bigger like opening a new business.

So I have a notebook that I literally jot down all the ideas I have racing through my mind. Sometimes it's even hard to get them on paper simply because I cannot write fast enough. The things come through my brain so fast that as I'm writing I will skip one of the ideas and it's lost for a few minutes, sometimes forever.

This list is sometimes picked back up numerous times, and sometimes it is never touched or even looked at again because who knows, after a few days time I may have decided to move on to the next thing. But, its literally like taking out the garbage.

I work directly with clients. I cannot tell you how many times I have had to question what I did or didn't say to them that would be considered one of the important things to discuss. I talk A LOT so even though I am very thorough I jump topics and sometimes never circle back around to my point.

I think because I am better at acknowledging my patterns now, my job is easier. I still don't know what I am doing as it's happening, but I have become more aware of how people react to me. Almost every single new client I have, I can see it in their eyes or face as we are conversing. So I've learned to just stop the conversation and explain that I have ADHD and tell them if there is something I don't finish saying to just remind me and I will get back to it. So I am actually seeing my behavior through someone else's eyes and that is when I realize to regain control.

People are so unbelievably nice about this and do exactly what I've asked. MOST times at some point or another my client will say, "what were you saying about....?"

I will reply, "I am so sorry, that was five minutes ago I was explaining that."

But guess what? We laugh and life goes on.

If you have made it this far in the article and you have a child with ADHD, I challenge you to help your child find their passion. Help them understand what self-discipline is. Help them find what types of things will help them make it through the day.

You can't get inside their head, so don't try. Just simply help them navigate the behaviors they have and things they could do to make those behaviors easier to deal with. I honestly hope that this advice I am giving you I will be able to implement myself if my own child turns out to be ADHD.

When they figure out how to funnel that focus, the sky will be the limit!